"I mean... A little bit. They have a subconscious sense I'm here. Probably. So it's not too strange... probably... Maybe..." This was the opposite of reassuring.
"They probably don't think you're crazy though. I don't feel any resentment or nervousness or unhappy emotions. I think they're distracted." There was a crisis going on after all.
Well, that was a pretty good point. Giant angry plants were probably of much more concern than some girl talking to herself. Heck, even if someone did notice, maybe they'd just chalk it up to an effect of the pollen or something.
"So am I going to forget you when this is all over, then?"
"Umm..." That hesitation was not good. "Maybe? Sometimes people do. Sometimes people don't. You'll forget me eventually though. Everyone forgets people over time when they stop seeing them. But you'll forget me faster, for sure." Her voice was a little melancholy.
If you knew her Nobody, Koishi, you'd have seen that question coming a mile away.
"That's not true or fair. Alright, sure, if you don't see someone for a long time you might stop thinking about them as much in your mind... but the bonds you made with your hearts won't vanish so easily."
Koishi's grip had loosened some. At least with her arms. She appeared to be holding her third eye which was... very open. One edge had split slightly from the strain, a droplet of blood slowly forming and falling to the floor.
"I can't do that anymore." She held up her eye so Kairi could see. "This is my 'heart.'" The blind surface was plainly visible. The cataract really was thicker and that line across the lens was, indeed another scar. Possibly from some kind of large blade. In fact the whole cataract seemed to bloom out from it.
Okay, that was... gruesome. And extremely sad. Kairi grimaced, reaching out a hand to gently pat her new friend on the arm.
But she wasn't quite done yet.
"Look... everyone's heart has cracks, scars... even seeping wounds. I mean, if you could see mine, well..." She sometimes wondered, did her heart still bear that wound? Even if it didn't, there were plenty of other marks on it, and probably worse ones on those of her boys.
"But that doesn't mean you can't still bond it with others. Maybe... if you're really lucky, some of them can actually fill in some of the gaps."
Koishi shook her head. "You're a kind human. You know that right? But there's no gaps to fill." She reached up to take off her hat, revealing the scar above her left temple. "It's been a long time since my 'heart' was disconnected." She tapped the top of her third eye, tracing her finger up through the air, gently touching the scar. Her left eye twitched the glow flickering momentarily, a ripple of black washing through it for a brief moment as the light touch caused her glamour to falter.
"I'm completely empty now. I mean, it was my fault to begin with." She put her hat back on. "It wasn't exactly smart. Of course this is hindsight talking. After all, centuries of an open heart being hated can make it very-" She was looking for a word. "Heavy."
"Well, I'm not heartless. Just empty." She tilted her head a little bit. "Even if I have to fake it most of the time, if I smile at people; If I make them happy, I can experience their heart through them. I can know their joy and love instead of their hatred. It's the best I can do now, all things considered."
She reached forward, pressing a finger to Kairi's chest. "In fact, I'm reflecting your heart right now. That's how I know you're such a good person! It's bright and warm and full of more facets than I can count!"
"People have told me that before. A heart of pure light, they keep saying." Not that she could really argue after everything she'd seen and experienced.
It just never seemed like it really helped her much.
"So you're kind of an... emotional mirror, then? What happens if you're around someone depressed?"
"Whoever told you that is right. It's almost too bright for even me." Koishi was still all smiles.
"Kiiind of. I try to make people happy. But I'll take sadness and pain over emptiness any day. It's something. Which is more than nothing." A pause. "Besides, deep sorrow is delicious. If nothing else I can consume parts of it."
"Does.. that affect the other person, when you eat their sorrow? Or any other emotions?"
Actually, that might be kind of helpful, consuming their sadness. Maybe it would help them cope. On the other hand, with a sorrow like what Koishi was describing, that pain probably should be there.
"Yes. Kind of. It's temporary. Very temporary. And I lose a lot of my meal in translation. But humans need pain. Without being sad how will they know when they feel happy?"
She shrugged. "Besides, if a human is that sad its better to just wait and let them die from disease or age or whatever. Then I can eat the sadness more efficiently since its always easier when the emotion is inside of something. Like flesh and bone." Or a heart.
"That leaves a scar behind. Emotional texture that shaped that person's life during the time they were sad. I'm not just consuming raw emotions. I eat the significance of those emotions too."
Koishi was looking thoughtful (and perhaps salivating a little.) "Fear is good too. I'm supposed to be a predator, not a scavenger. So I guess that makes sense. But I prefer having human friends and that's kind of hard if I'm known for attacking people. But it's fine if they're already dead since they've moved on and they're not using their body for anything anymore." A very pragmatic outlook. If a little morbid.
"I mean, you'd still have your scary dream. You just wouldn't feel scared. Which can drastically change the nature of the dream since dreams are fueled a lot by emotion."
Well, dream fear-eating involved more snuggling than sucking. Usually. "I suppose so. It's not like I have to eat like that very often anyway." Her third eye was slowly closing, her presence wavering a little bit. Though she was right back to cuddling Kairi.
And just like that she was gone. But not for long. It was as if she entirley lapsed out of Kairi's perception for a moment. But the nuzzling on her shoulder brought Koishi back into focus. She had, perhaps, pushed herself to remain lucid a little bit too long.
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koishi_komeiji) wrote2019-03-20 10:30 am
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Please don't think she's crazy, doctor and guard aliens. That would probably make her life more difficult than it needed to be.
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"They probably don't think you're crazy though. I don't feel any resentment or nervousness or unhappy emotions. I think they're distracted." There was a crisis going on after all.
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"So am I going to forget you when this is all over, then?"
NOW I'M SAD
"Umm..." That hesitation was not good. "Maybe? Sometimes people do. Sometimes people don't. You'll forget me eventually though. Everyone forgets people over time when they stop seeing them. But you'll forget me faster, for sure." Her voice was a little melancholy.
"It's okay though. I'm kind of used to it."
ECHOES OF COM
"That's not true or fair. Alright, sure, if you don't see someone for a long time you might stop thinking about them as much in your mind... but the bonds you made with your hearts won't vanish so easily."
She ought to know about that.
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"I can't do that anymore." She held up her eye so Kairi could see. "This is my 'heart.'" The blind surface was plainly visible. The cataract really was thicker and that line across the lens was, indeed another scar. Possibly from some kind of large blade. In fact the whole cataract seemed to bloom out from it.
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But she wasn't quite done yet.
"Look... everyone's heart has cracks, scars... even seeping wounds. I mean, if you could see mine, well..." She sometimes wondered, did her heart still bear that wound? Even if it didn't, there were plenty of other marks on it, and probably worse ones on those of her boys.
"But that doesn't mean you can't still bond it with others. Maybe... if you're really lucky, some of them can actually fill in some of the gaps."
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"I'm completely empty now. I mean, it was my fault to begin with." She put her hat back on. "It wasn't exactly smart. Of course this is hindsight talking. After all, centuries of an open heart being hated can make it very-" She was looking for a word. "Heavy."
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"You say you're empty, but... you don't seem heartless to me."
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She reached forward, pressing a finger to Kairi's chest. "In fact, I'm reflecting your heart right now. That's how I know you're such a good person! It's bright and warm and full of more facets than I can count!"
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It just never seemed like it really helped her much.
"So you're kind of an... emotional mirror, then? What happens if you're around someone depressed?"
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"Kiiind of. I try to make people happy. But I'll take sadness and pain over emptiness any day. It's something. Which is more than nothing." A pause. "Besides, deep sorrow is delicious. If nothing else I can consume parts of it."
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Actually, that might be kind of helpful, consuming their sadness. Maybe it would help them cope. On the other hand, with a sorrow like what Koishi was describing, that pain probably should be there.
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She shrugged. "Besides, if a human is that sad its better to just wait and let them die from disease or age or whatever. Then I can eat the sadness more efficiently since its always easier when the emotion is inside of something. Like flesh and bone." Or a heart.
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That had to happen, right? Plenty of people got over even the worst losses...
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Koishi was looking thoughtful (and perhaps salivating a little.) "Fear is good too. I'm supposed to be a predator, not a scavenger. So I guess that makes sense. But I prefer having human friends and that's kind of hard if I'm known for attacking people. But it's fine if they're already dead since they've moved on and they're not using their body for anything anymore." A very pragmatic outlook. If a little morbid.
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"So if I have a nightmare, I should expect to wake up to find you hanging around, then?"
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Like the dream eaters Sora and Riku told her about.
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And she somehow doubted most nightmares would be able to withstand the fear being sucked out of them, anyway.
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"Comfy."
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"You're pretty soft too."
Reaching up, Kairi patted her on the head, amused.
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How weird. She had to wonder, could the girl just follow her home without her even noticing?
Well... maybe she'd find out after the plants were taken care of.