"All your mana?" Koishi tilted her head. "Oh no! Here!" she began fumbling in her pockets, pulling out a draw string bag and opening it. She pulled out a piece of candy, offering it to Kairi.
"My sister gives me snacks when I go out so I don't get tired or lonely or hungry. Here! You can have one!"" And the hand-made taffy was shoved into Kairi's hand. "She makes it with a little bit of oni sake so it has some bite to it. But its very little so its just some flavor."
"But something sweet always helps me feel better. Even when my youki is strained and I'm out of mana and starting to starve." She didn't bother elaborating on what any of that meant.
She also didn't leave Kairi's side, clinging again to her shoulders. She was floating so she didn't have any weight but she did have mass. So sudden, fast directional changes would be difficult. Not that it mattered at rest like this.
"I promise, I'm not starving. But thank you." Kairi's interpretation of that was that Youkai, or maybe just Koishi's subspecies, could cast spells straight out of their body's energy if they ran out of regular mana reserves. Which was both theoretically very useful, and also outright terrifying.
She'd have to make certain Koishi didn't do that. Unwrapping the taffy and popping it into her mouth, Kairi stroked the girl's arm gently to reassure her. She made no effort to convince her to leave her shoulders as she grabbed a bottle of water from a cooler and moved to sit down.
It took a few minutes for Kairi to realize that no one even seemed to be aware of Koishi's presence. That was... odd, to say the least. Was she invisible to everyone else or something?
"Uh, Koishi? Is there... a reason nobody seems to see you?"
Koishi had zero chill. She would never relax unless literally forced to. In fact telling her to relax only seemed to make her snuggle more. Oops.
"Yeah. I'm a youkai of the unconscious. So normally I'm unnoticed by everyone. It's like... People's eyes can see me and their ears can hear me but their brains can't process that I'm there. So they just kind of edit me out."
Did it have to do with the keyblade? She could see things that most people wouldn't, or at least sense them. That was, after all, how she did things like cast magic.
"Sometimes people can hear and see me. Especially when I'm trying to be noticed. People with better imaginations see me too. That's why small children can almost always see me. But they forget me when they grow up. I'm like an imaginary friend!"
More nuzzles. No doubt the prolonged physical contact was helping.
"I mean... A little bit. They have a subconscious sense I'm here. Probably. So it's not too strange... probably... Maybe..." This was the opposite of reassuring.
"They probably don't think you're crazy though. I don't feel any resentment or nervousness or unhappy emotions. I think they're distracted." There was a crisis going on after all.
Well, that was a pretty good point. Giant angry plants were probably of much more concern than some girl talking to herself. Heck, even if someone did notice, maybe they'd just chalk it up to an effect of the pollen or something.
"So am I going to forget you when this is all over, then?"
"Umm..." That hesitation was not good. "Maybe? Sometimes people do. Sometimes people don't. You'll forget me eventually though. Everyone forgets people over time when they stop seeing them. But you'll forget me faster, for sure." Her voice was a little melancholy.
If you knew her Nobody, Koishi, you'd have seen that question coming a mile away.
"That's not true or fair. Alright, sure, if you don't see someone for a long time you might stop thinking about them as much in your mind... but the bonds you made with your hearts won't vanish so easily."
Koishi's grip had loosened some. At least with her arms. She appeared to be holding her third eye which was... very open. One edge had split slightly from the strain, a droplet of blood slowly forming and falling to the floor.
"I can't do that anymore." She held up her eye so Kairi could see. "This is my 'heart.'" The blind surface was plainly visible. The cataract really was thicker and that line across the lens was, indeed another scar. Possibly from some kind of large blade. In fact the whole cataract seemed to bloom out from it.
Okay, that was... gruesome. And extremely sad. Kairi grimaced, reaching out a hand to gently pat her new friend on the arm.
But she wasn't quite done yet.
"Look... everyone's heart has cracks, scars... even seeping wounds. I mean, if you could see mine, well..." She sometimes wondered, did her heart still bear that wound? Even if it didn't, there were plenty of other marks on it, and probably worse ones on those of her boys.
"But that doesn't mean you can't still bond it with others. Maybe... if you're really lucky, some of them can actually fill in some of the gaps."
Koishi shook her head. "You're a kind human. You know that right? But there's no gaps to fill." She reached up to take off her hat, revealing the scar above her left temple. "It's been a long time since my 'heart' was disconnected." She tapped the top of her third eye, tracing her finger up through the air, gently touching the scar. Her left eye twitched the glow flickering momentarily, a ripple of black washing through it for a brief moment as the light touch caused her glamour to falter.
"I'm completely empty now. I mean, it was my fault to begin with." She put her hat back on. "It wasn't exactly smart. Of course this is hindsight talking. After all, centuries of an open heart being hated can make it very-" She was looking for a word. "Heavy."
"Well, I'm not heartless. Just empty." She tilted her head a little bit. "Even if I have to fake it most of the time, if I smile at people; If I make them happy, I can experience their heart through them. I can know their joy and love instead of their hatred. It's the best I can do now, all things considered."
She reached forward, pressing a finger to Kairi's chest. "In fact, I'm reflecting your heart right now. That's how I know you're such a good person! It's bright and warm and full of more facets than I can count!"
"People have told me that before. A heart of pure light, they keep saying." Not that she could really argue after everything she'd seen and experienced.
It just never seemed like it really helped her much.
"So you're kind of an... emotional mirror, then? What happens if you're around someone depressed?"
"Whoever told you that is right. It's almost too bright for even me." Koishi was still all smiles.
"Kiiind of. I try to make people happy. But I'll take sadness and pain over emptiness any day. It's something. Which is more than nothing." A pause. "Besides, deep sorrow is delicious. If nothing else I can consume parts of it."
"Does.. that affect the other person, when you eat their sorrow? Or any other emotions?"
Actually, that might be kind of helpful, consuming their sadness. Maybe it would help them cope. On the other hand, with a sorrow like what Koishi was describing, that pain probably should be there.
"Yes. Kind of. It's temporary. Very temporary. And I lose a lot of my meal in translation. But humans need pain. Without being sad how will they know when they feel happy?"
She shrugged. "Besides, if a human is that sad its better to just wait and let them die from disease or age or whatever. Then I can eat the sadness more efficiently since its always easier when the emotion is inside of something. Like flesh and bone." Or a heart.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
regna
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 12:40 am (UTC)"If you want to stay near me, I think that sounds fine! I'm gonna need a bit of rest, though. I used up all my mana out there."
The taffy doesn't actually have remarkable properties. Its just candy.
Date: 2019-03-29 01:22 am (UTC)"My sister gives me snacks when I go out so I don't get tired or lonely or hungry. Here! You can have one!"" And the hand-made taffy was shoved into Kairi's hand. "She makes it with a little bit of oni sake so it has some bite to it. But its very little so its just some flavor."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 01:53 am (UTC)"Thanks, Koishi. But you don't have to worry. I just have to rest for a bit, drink some water. I'll be fine."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:06 am (UTC)She also didn't leave Kairi's side, clinging again to her shoulders. She was floating so she didn't have any weight but she did have mass. So sudden, fast directional changes would be difficult. Not that it mattered at rest like this.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:22 am (UTC)She'd have to make certain Koishi didn't do that. Unwrapping the taffy and popping it into her mouth, Kairi stroked the girl's arm gently to reassure her. She made no effort to convince her to leave her shoulders as she grabbed a bottle of water from a cooler and moved to sit down.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 06:08 am (UTC)"Okay. I also have deer meat with me that Sis packed. She likes to dry it when I bring one home after I go hunting."
Oddly enough other people didn't seem to notice the little youkai clinging there. No comments were made and Koishi wasn't offered anything...
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 02:06 pm (UTC)It took a few minutes for Kairi to realize that no one even seemed to be aware of Koishi's presence. That was... odd, to say the least. Was she invisible to everyone else or something?
"Uh, Koishi? Is there... a reason nobody seems to see you?"
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 02:35 pm (UTC)"Yeah. I'm a youkai of the unconscious. So normally I'm unnoticed by everyone. It's like... People's eyes can see me and their ears can hear me but their brains can't process that I'm there. So they just kind of edit me out."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:08 pm (UTC)Did it have to do with the keyblade? She could see things that most people wouldn't, or at least sense them. That was, after all, how she did things like cast magic.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:12 pm (UTC)More nuzzles. No doubt the prolonged physical contact was helping.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:33 pm (UTC)Please don't think she's crazy, doctor and guard aliens. That would probably make her life more difficult than it needed to be.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 03:53 pm (UTC)"They probably don't think you're crazy though. I don't feel any resentment or nervousness or unhappy emotions. I think they're distracted." There was a crisis going on after all.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 06:32 pm (UTC)"So am I going to forget you when this is all over, then?"
NOW I'M SAD
Date: 2019-03-29 06:38 pm (UTC)"Umm..." That hesitation was not good. "Maybe? Sometimes people do. Sometimes people don't. You'll forget me eventually though. Everyone forgets people over time when they stop seeing them. But you'll forget me faster, for sure." Her voice was a little melancholy.
"It's okay though. I'm kind of used to it."
ECHOES OF COM
Date: 2019-03-29 06:41 pm (UTC)"That's not true or fair. Alright, sure, if you don't see someone for a long time you might stop thinking about them as much in your mind... but the bonds you made with your hearts won't vanish so easily."
She ought to know about that.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 06:55 pm (UTC)"I can't do that anymore." She held up her eye so Kairi could see. "This is my 'heart.'" The blind surface was plainly visible. The cataract really was thicker and that line across the lens was, indeed another scar. Possibly from some kind of large blade. In fact the whole cataract seemed to bloom out from it.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:03 pm (UTC)But she wasn't quite done yet.
"Look... everyone's heart has cracks, scars... even seeping wounds. I mean, if you could see mine, well..." She sometimes wondered, did her heart still bear that wound? Even if it didn't, there were plenty of other marks on it, and probably worse ones on those of her boys.
"But that doesn't mean you can't still bond it with others. Maybe... if you're really lucky, some of them can actually fill in some of the gaps."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:30 pm (UTC)"I'm completely empty now. I mean, it was my fault to begin with." She put her hat back on. "It wasn't exactly smart. Of course this is hindsight talking. After all, centuries of an open heart being hated can make it very-" She was looking for a word. "Heavy."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:36 pm (UTC)"You say you're empty, but... you don't seem heartless to me."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:42 pm (UTC)She reached forward, pressing a finger to Kairi's chest. "In fact, I'm reflecting your heart right now. That's how I know you're such a good person! It's bright and warm and full of more facets than I can count!"
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:48 pm (UTC)It just never seemed like it really helped her much.
"So you're kind of an... emotional mirror, then? What happens if you're around someone depressed?"
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:51 pm (UTC)"Kiiind of. I try to make people happy. But I'll take sadness and pain over emptiness any day. It's something. Which is more than nothing." A pause. "Besides, deep sorrow is delicious. If nothing else I can consume parts of it."
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 07:56 pm (UTC)Actually, that might be kind of helpful, consuming their sadness. Maybe it would help them cope. On the other hand, with a sorrow like what Koishi was describing, that pain probably should be there.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 08:02 pm (UTC)She shrugged. "Besides, if a human is that sad its better to just wait and let them die from disease or age or whatever. Then I can eat the sadness more efficiently since its always easier when the emotion is inside of something. Like flesh and bone." Or a heart.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-03-29 08:03 pm (UTC)That had to happen, right? Plenty of people got over even the worst losses...
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